A Letter from New Gotham’s Fairy Godmother

Posted April 24, 2017 by Greta in Citizen Editorials, New Gotham's Lexicon / 0 Comments

Greetings ingrates,

Welcome to New Gotham. Mind the pixies. And no, they’re not for sale. Goodness, have you people no principles? Yes, I know New Gotham is filled with monsters aplenty. But honestly, their pixies. Not people. Can’t go about kidnapping them as you please and what not. Besides, New Gotham’s policy on pixie theft is very clear—they cannibalize thieves as is proper. Likewise, I don’t recommend tipping the witches less than 20%. They frown on that.

As always, I’m a busy women, so we’ll make this quick—I’m Annabelle Potts. Yes, dear, Mrs. Pott’s is appropriate.  As you’ve no doubt heard, I’m the wand, the dust, and the wings running the fairy tales in these cursed parts. I have a steel trap with barbed wire for a mind, two fantastic sister-witches with excellent knitting skills as my companions, and a very long list of things to do. Busy, busy, busy.

Why, you ask?

New Gotham is filled with thankless heathens and it’s my job to make sure they don’t drivel in my kettle and ruin all my brilliant schemes with all their inane twittery about not wanting to fall in love. Ha. Oh, how the little people amuse.

Monsters, I swear…

Vampires, witches, werewolves and the fey. Goodness, they seem to be the only beings who don’t fully understand their purpose. And do you know what their purpose is?

That’s right, to do exactly as I say. Or else.

Why?

There will be happy endings. I don’t care if I have to murder you and bring you back as a ghost to make that happen. We’ll find you a crisp linen to wear and call it a plot twist, am I clear dearie?

Yes, yes, I thought so.

Now then, recently I was the source of the wonderful idea to pair, Elsa Karr, a troll and struggling shop-owner, with…well, a shameless devil. He’s not a true demon, of course. But a mixture of the damned and the devilish. In the grand tradition of monsters everywhere, he’s delicious, but difficult to manage without the proper set of skills and a good paddle.

There’s a mess of magic, a ship that sets itself on fire, and, of course, I was forced to get involved once or twice because sometimes vampires, and some children, feel the need to test the gravity of their circumstances. A few screams later and everything was right as rain.

Best, 

Potts


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