Okay, so my boyfriend and I were supposed to go on a date this weekend. There was a mention of maybe a nice dinner and a drive out to the country. Yeah, right. Come Friday night we sat down on the couch, looked at each other, and started laughing because we knew we weren’t doing shit. We’d spend this weekend doing what we always do. Tea, sex, art, and sleep. Oh, and then there’s our shared love of house cleaning, dumpster diving, and THRIFT SHOPPING. Come Saturday morning, we brush our teeth, chug some coffee, and we go to Goodwill in the same clothes that we went to bed in. (Straight bummin’ it.)
We get to the Goodwill barely a mile from our posh apartment in the city and we immediately hit our normal hot spots. He checks out the shoes, comes back with a pair he likes, and I talk him out of buying a really bad shirt. We’re getting ready to check out, and he grabs my hand and tells me that there’s something he wants to show me before we leave. It’s a Garfield Dollhouse Kit, partially assembled (though most of it was in pieces.) It looks a little worse for wear, but it practically screams expensive. I’m instantly transported in time right back into the Sketchers I wore all the time when I was seven.
Considering that one these dollhouse kits goes for around 400 bucks and it’s been modestly priced at 49.99 USD. I decide right then and there that I’m buying it. Cody is instantly dismayed by the idea of fitting this project somewhere in our small one bedroom apartment. We’ve already sacrificed having a linen closet so we have somewhere to put our combined art supply. (Seriously, Michaels should buy US something. We’ve paid for someone’s college education and at least two yachts by now.)
After we buy the damn dollhouse, we find out that it doesn’t fit into the car. Did I mention that we didn’t bring any rope? These two old Mexican guys who were dropping off truck bed full of baby stuff let us have a piece of theirs. We tie down the dollhouse as best as we can with a piece of borrowed rope and drive the one mile to our house with the trunk completely open. I imagine that people saw us on the road, noticed what we were hauling, and completely understood. We carry all the shit into the house, sit down on the sofa, gaping at the massive dollhouse eating up our living room coffee table, and The Artist realizes that in all that excitement we bought and then FORGOT his shoes.
I doubt I will ever hear the end of that. Seriously.
The dollhouse is still sitting on our shitty coffee table, and the rest of the pieces are laid out on the carpet. The first thing I noticed (once the stupefied excitement had worn off) was how old everything looks. The pieces that were put together were well put together, but it’s obvious that this has been sitting in someone’s backroom for the last twenty years. They took their time organizing and labeling all the pieces. They’d already bought tiny hinges for the doors and hard wood for the floors. Someone put a lot of love and care into this before it was ultimately abandoned. I look at her girly handwriting on the labels and I wonder about who this person was, I imagine she was an older lady based on the wallpaper she bought for the house.
Who puts fruit on their kitchen walls anymore?
After I told everyone about the dollhouse, I enlisted some pixies to help in the form of my best friends. The Tiny Dragon, my best girlfriend, is exactly ten years older than me. Apparently, she had always wanted one of these houses as a little girl. I think she’s more excited about it than I am. The Viking saw the house this morning when he stopped by before work. He was instantly in love, and made sure to christen the project by blowing weed smoke into every room. The Artist has finally taken a shine to the house. You should see him right now, zipping around the house, rearranging things so that we can dedicate our dining room to this small edifice of imagination.
Okay, the house has been moved to a short worktable in front of the biggest window. That pink thing under the table is a stool. I sit on it when I’m working on the house. I’ve already bought everything I need. Instead of doing hot glue like the directions suggest, we’ve decided to use Gorilla glue. We assume that if Gorilla glue had been a thing when these were first produced that would’ve been their suggestion. On that note, the directions for this thing suck. I’ll post them in another post, so people can see the kind of Korean gibberish that I’m dealing with. It’s kind of crazy that anyone has every completed one of this things.
As for me, I decided this morning to build the house as if it could exist in New Gotham. I’ve decided that this dollhouse will be my representation of where Mrs. Potts lives. And I think I’m going to go ahead and use the fruit wallpaper in the kitchen to honor whoever started this house before me. She put a lot of love into this, and it brings me joy to think I could finish for her. Plus, I think Mrs. Potts is totally have the kind of gal to have fruit on her kitchen walls.
For more information about my dollhouse, check out the information here.
True miniature scale
1 inch = 1 foot
Type of Design:
Assembled Dollhouse Dimensions:
42″ W x 30″ D x 40″ H
Dollhouse Kit Weight:
Dollhouse siding & Shingles Included:
Required Bags of Shingles:
Type of Assembly: