New Gotham PSAs and Bulletins #1

Posted April 24, 2017 by Greta in Citizen Editorials, New Gotham's Lexicon / 0 Comments

Annabelle Potts is a fairy godmother and the senior editor of the local newspaper. There was recently a fire in her office, and she seems to have vanished into thin air. Local authorities found a scrap of burnt paper in the wreckage. You have to squint but you can still make out the chicken scratch.

Bulletin #1
City Hall is proud to announce the upcoming charity drive for Granny Sole’s shoe. Granny is a noble soul who’s taken it upon herself to a home to all of New Gotham’s unwanted children. Do your part and donate what you can in the collection boxes outside of the N.G. Police Department or city hall.

Bulletin #2
No one needs to panic. Citizens stay in your homes. Tourist abide the curfew bell, and stop going home with strange vampires. Everyone will be okay. New Gotham is a perfectly safe place. That said, the city is required by federal law to disclose any complications that might arise during your time in our fine city. Remember, no one needs to panic. I’m going to rip it off like a Band-Aid. One. Two.

There is a monster hunting in the forests. There have been twelve victims so far. City Council is taking steps to rectify this situation. There is no word yet as to whether City Council will be offering a reward for its capture. The Council thanks you for your patience and cooperation during this stressful time. And we at the newspaper appreciate you taking the time to read. We’ll do our best to keep you updated as the situation progresses.

Bulletin #3
It’s official. There is a renegade monster in the forest, and City Council is offering a reward for its death or capture. Anyone with any information regarding this monster should contact City Council immediately or call New Gotham’s “Help!” Hotline. The forest is off limits to tourists at night. It has always been a bad idea to go on a moonlit walk in the forest, but it’s now illegal, which means its going to be overflowing with college students soon. Be safe out there, kids.

Bulletin #4
Yesterday there was a vote at City Hall concerning the city’s adoption of a human police force. Instead of the human police force, City Council agreed to support and fund a police force composed of fine, upstanding New Gotham citizens. Arthur Pendragon, a psychic well-known for the heroic applications of his abilities, has been selected as Sheriff. Congratulations, Sheriff Pendragon.

Bulletin # 5
Young people, stay out of the goddamn forest!

(Editor’s Note: Someone glued the Sheriff to the toilet seat in the teacher’s lounge bathroom. Peter we know it was you.)

Bulletin # 6
That monster is still on the loose. City Council encourages citizens to take up arms and try their hand at collecting the substantial reward money. Anyone with any information regarding this monster should contact the G.N.P.D. immediately or contact New Gotham’s “Help!” Hotline. There have been 20 recorded victims. Four victims are still waiting to be claimed and identified. If you’ve recently filed a Missing Person’s report, please stop by the morgue.

Bulletin # 7
New information regarding the monster in the woods has been released by the N.G.P.D. The monster has been identified as a werewolf male. That’s it—that’s all we got for you. No one knows what he looks like. No where knows where he came from. No one knows what he wants.

Bulletin # 8
Listen, you lazy ingrates, that monster has to be brought to justice. Catch the monster and City Council has agreed to reward you with whatever your heart desires. I’ve agreed to help them make any wish come true. Want love? Got it. Want riches? Got it. What immortality? I know people. We need help here. Anyone with any information needs to get off their ass and do something.

Bulletin # 9
Citizens will notice a small force of mercenaries amassing near the edge of the forest. Calling in an elite force is the only option City Council has left before the United States government forces us to evacuate all humans from this city. This has become a media frenzy, and will go down on record as the launch of the largest manhunt in New Gotham’s history.

Bulletin # 10
There will be a vigil in the town square for the men and women who’ve died so far. Every day we send in more hunters, more slayers, more mercenaries, and every day he sends back more dead bodies. There’s no more room in the morgue. Those seeking their loved ones should check The Boneyard Funeral Parlor, as they’ve graciously offered to help manage the dead. The sky has never seemed so dark. I never knew there were so many clouds. It’s like the whole city is crying.

Bulletin # 11
Someone needs to stop him. Someone needs to catch that monster. Someone needs to make him pay. Catch him. Catch the wolf.

The rest of the document is too damaged to read.


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