There is boutique hiding out between the fractured, narrow store-fronts lining New Gotham’s foggy docks. Huge bay side windows offer the passerby a mesmerizing view of the wares inside. The mannequins are stitched together from scraps of mismatched human skin, but you hardly notice the gore. Everywhere you look there are gorgeous dresses with big, sparkling bell skirts and gauzy tulle trains, the kind of gowns and garments that only fairy tale nobility would wear. Behind the antique register counter, you can make out the glittering impression of ruby red slippers, glass heels, and other magical shoes. You’re starting to wonder who owns this place.
Push open the store’s shabby front door and step lightly onto its waxy polished floors. You’re greeted by a bouquet of seductive scents: cedar musk, wood polish, and fresh lavender. You take a deep breath, and the smells warm you from the inside out. Trust you’re in good hands. The brochure stand near the front door is stocked with elegant parchment pamphlets. According to the literature, the witches who own this establishment are schooled in the ways of “fabric-bending” by the Needlewitches of old.
They’ve used this knowledge to create an entire line of clothing that all share the same basic design element: one-size fits all. Each garment will magically tailor itself to its wearer once worn. Of course, there might be some fine print or some “twirling” required, but a vampire’s steady hand should turn every wardrobe change into a stolen moment. Remember, Cinderella had mice–you have the Witches-Who-Stitch.
Please provide the witches with your name:
DJ Jaco. I was named Drusilla Jane after my great aunt but, really, don’t call me Dru or I’ll think you’re an elf and have to zap you one with my magical staff. If you call me Drusilla, I’ll think you’re the undead pirate Jean Lafitte, and if you call me Drusilla Jane, I think you’re my grandmother.
Please provide the witches with the following:
Hair Color: Blonde
Hair Length: [ ] Short and Sassy, [ ] Medium and Modern, [X] Lush and Long
Eye Color: Blue-green
Skin Tone: [ ] Ghoulish, [X] Snow White, [ ] Cina-baby, [ ] Mochalicious, [ ] Dark Chocolate, [ ] Other:__________
Please provide the witches with your measurements and body-type.
a.) Height: 5’3”
b.) Body Type: [ ] Skeletal, [X] Lean and Tender, [ ] Lean and Tough, [X] Ripe and Edible
Comment(s): Depends on whether I’ve been stressed out and eating chocolate.
Do you have any extra extremities? Place an “X” to all that apply.
[ ] Horns or [ ] Halo
[ ] 20 ft. of Hair or More
[ ] Gills and Fins or [ ] Hooves
[ ] Wings (Span: )
[ ] Tail (How many: )
Comment(s): I feel so…inadequate.
How many heads do you have?
One, but it’s plenty enough to get me in trouble.
Do you have arms and legs? If so, how many?
Two arms, two legs, although technically you could consider Charlie a third arm. That’s the nickname for the ancient elven staff that claimed me as its master; its ceremonial name is Mahout, and the elves are plenty pissed off that I have it and that I, a mere wizard, can do some of their magic. Of course I also have the elven non-husband, Quince Randolph, but that’s a whole other issue. He’s more like an albatross than an appendage.
How dead are you?
[X] Living, [ ] Undead, [ ] Astral Form
Although I do have a friend-maybe-suitor who’s a 240-year-old undead French pirate, Jean Lafitte. Does that earn extra points?
What are you? (Species/Breed)
Wizard, Green Congress (ritual magic), advanced class. I work as Sentinel of the central Gulf Coast area, based primarily in New Orleans. A Sentinel is…well, think “border guard” between the modern world and the preternatural Beyond.
What is the occasion? (Ideas include: Wedding, Funeral, Sabbath, etc. Oh, and seduction is a valid occasion. The more details, the better.)
Oh, what to choose! Here’s the challenge: My house burned down last month and I have very little clothing now. I have to testify at an important meeting of the Interspecies Council in a few weeks, and there’s a lot riding on my testimony. You know, like the continued existence of the human world. I also have a gunshot wound to my left shoulder and bruised ribs, so it needs to be something easy to get in and out of.
What’s the occasion setting? (Beach, haunted castle, grand ball, etc.)
It will likely be a formal affair, in a courtroom-like setting, with representatives from the wizards’ Congress of Elders, the Elven Synod from Elfheim, the Vice-Regent from the Realm of Vampyre, the Historical Undead (represented by the French pirate mentioned earlier) and three representatives from the Monarchy of Faerie. With some shifter security that includes my sometimes-signficant-something Alex. Oh, and the undead Truman Capote will also be testifying.
Will you be running for your life at some point in the evening? (Helps with shoe selection.)
It does seem to happen with alarming regularity, so I’d better say yes.
Will you be set on fire? Better yet, will you be setting other people on fire?
I’m much more likely to set others on fire. In fact, I’d pretty much bet on it. My aim with the staff isn’t that great so it might or might not be the person I’m actually trying to set on fire.
Will you be grave-robbing? (Dirt is a dressmaker’s tedium.)
Absolutely not. I can’t promise I won’t end up tossed to the ground, however.
Is your neck a dinner plate?
Oh God, I hope not. But it’s possible. The vampires are kind of pissed off at me right now.
Do you hope to be naked at some point in the evening? (All right, dirty birds. Such questions are actually intended toward the weres and shifters in regards to their transformations.)
If I am naked during this particular evening, something has gone horribly, horribly wrong.
Describe your last brush with Death in two sentences. (Helps us plan for the unexpected.)
After being gnawed on by a reanimated serial killer, I was shot by an undead pirate who was being controlled by a necromancer, who’d been hired by the evil bitch who heads up one of the elven clans. It happened at Six Flags.
Do you need a secret compartment for weapons, wands, tampons, etc.?
I have a thigh holster that holds the elven staff; otherwise I need some way to carry it—it’s about two feet long. I like to carry a small portable magic kit and a knife.
What are your three favorite colors?
Teal, red, and purple.
What two colors rattle your kettle?
Orange and pink. I am SO not a pink girl, and nobody wears orange well.
Please pick a style that you feel embodies you the best. If none apply, feel free to surprise us by providing your own brilliant description in the “other” slot.
[ ] Rockabilly Starlet: This is for the spoonfuls of sugar. The good-natured and naughty girl next door types. Candy is the business and fairy tales are ultimate. More often than not, her head is in the clouds and her nose in the book. Our dreamers.
[ ] Leather Queen: This is for the warrior princesses. The type of girls who give boys a run for their money. Their style is killer, their kisses are murder, and they wear their jeans a little tight just watch the vampires come undone. These are hands for fighting and these heels for ass-kickings. Our protectors.
[ ] Medieval Mistress: This is for the no-nonsense girls. The ones who always know better, because they’re ten steps ahead. They’re schemers—their minds are always working. They’re not anti-social, they’re selective. Our wisdom.
[ ] Gothic Dame: This for the mysteries. No one can figure this woman out. She’s a mixture, a melting pot of sugar and sinister. She might be Rockabilly Starlet one day, or a Medieval Mistress other days. Our sisters.
[X] Other: Zydeco Geek Mistress: The snarky, nerdy girl next door type who given a choice, will always follows her heart rather than her head, which sometimes lands her in precarious circumstances, particularly with one sexy undead French pirate. A lot tougher than she gives herself credit for. Fiercely loyal to those who earn her trust._
Who is your favorite fairy tale villain?
Lord Voldemort. I can introduce you to the equivalent figure in Elfheim, Vampyre and Faerie if you want. Nasty.
If you could be any fairy tale princess, who would it be?
None. Fairy tale princesses have to be rescued by the prince. I’d rather find my own way out, but thanks!
Now, tell us the twit you hate most.
Adrian Hoffman, son of the wizards’ First Elder and a Blue Congress wizard in his own right (creation and re-creation). He’s arrogant, snarky, disagreeable, and not nearly as smart as he thinks he is. Of course, I’m trying to forgive him for almost getting me killed, especially since he ended up with fangs.
Anything else you’d like to add…
- -1000 yards of Twisted Thread (Imported from Rumpel)
- -200 yards of Electric Lamprey Cotton (Blend of Changeling Flowers, Wolfsbane and Standard Pima Cotton)
- -200 yards of Atlantica Eel Scale Tulle (Imported from the Otherworld)
- -200 yards of Ghostmail (Imported from Avalon)
- -500 yards of Genuine Spider Silk (Offensively expensive)
- -100 yards of Void fabric
- -1 Shadow Sheath (Purchased from Bits and Pieces)
- -30 yards of Standard Lavender Velvet Trim
- -30 yards of Fuchsia Foil Trim
- -12 Self-Fastening Gear Buttons (Purchased from Bits and Pieces)
- -1 pair of (extra comfy) Lavender Leggings
- -1 pair of Isis Wings (Purchased from Cleopatra)
- The elves? The vampires? My goodness, is there anyone you haven’t pissed off lately? (Smile) Welcome to Sinister Stitches. We were very excited to receive your order.
- The first thing we did was hit the drawing the board. This piece is entirely original and entirely unique. We decided on Gillian’s two piece evening gown paired with my excellent taste in fabrics. This Electric Lamprey is a blend of pima cotton, fuchsia changeling flowers, and wolfsbane. The over layer is fashioned from Atlantica eel scale tulle imported from the Otherworld, and it's responsible for that regal, semi-metallic finish. The tulle also has the added benefit of being inflammable. Nothing will set this dress on fire. Not even magic.
- For added freedom of movement, the petticoats were kept light. While there are over a hundred skirts, it shouldn’t matter. The spider silk feels weightless. For added comfort, Gillian suggests you were these matching leggings beneath. The skirts and petticoats are held in place by tiny gear buttons that self-fasten. To take the skirts off in a hurry, just give them a firm yank. Everything was designed to be easily removed.
- The interior of the dress is lined with Ghostmail for added protection against projectile weapons, and I went through the extra trouble of adding a pair of Void pockets in the skirts. One of the Void pockets has been outfitted with a Shadow Sheath purchased from Bits and Pieces. The sheath will allow the elven staff to fold and bend with the skirt. The other pocket is big enough for a moderate supply pouch, a small tube of hair spray, and chocolate.
- Also, with consideration toward your shoulder wound, we constructed a crisscross neckline, and enchanted the back ties to self knot upon being worn. Tug on the back tie three times, and the knot should undo itself. My mother insisted on included these earrings as well. The Isis Wing earrings are enchanted with a healing spell. Once worn, they’ll automatically heal any manmade wound. The affected area will still be incredibly sore, so we don’t recommend behaving like you’re invincible. Keep it nice and easy until you’ve made a full recovery.
- Oh, and it would be remiss of me if I didn’t mention that not all fairy tale princesses need rescued. Why, this morning I put out a burning ship without getting up from my chair. Who set the fire? (Smile) Have a wonderful evening. I’d tell you to behave, but I know better.
- [X] Medieval Mistress: This is for the no-nonsense girls. The ones who always know better, because they’re ten steps ahead. They’re schemers—their minds are always working. They’re not anti-social, they’re selective. Our wisdom.
Image Credit(s): © Cisek Ciesielski – Fotolia.com